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From Blue Sleighty’s new series: “How to Love Your Lesbian From Her Head to Her Toes.”
Romance and Intimacy For Lesbians, by Blue Sleighty
Since I have assumed my role as lesbian erotica expert on AllExperts.com, many women have come to me seeking advice and information regarding how to make their love lives more exciting.
I have decided to start addressing some
of the more frequently
Let’s start with the top and work down, shall we? Brain first. I want to talk about romance and intimacy. The erogenous zone of the gray matter.
For, sex alone can not make a great sex life.
In the estimation of many, romance and intimacy is the best part of being in love. Making love together is a mutual reaffirmation of our love for each other and romance and intimacy in our relationships creates the spark that ignites the flames of passion. Right?
Romance and intimacy should be about love NOT sex.
Not sure about romance and intimacy? Here are some tips to inspire your creative side:
Moments of romance and intimacy are easier during hard times and crisis. Just the act of sticking together during the difficult times builds a life time bond. Also we are more caring, sympathetic and understanding towards each other during a crisis.
Fortunately, life is mostly more simple. Unfortunately- that is when it gets more difficult to remember to make the time and take the time to show your love how you feel about her.
It’s all about making the simple things between you and your girlfriend or committed other good and special. Life is precious and good times should be remembered, celebrated and savored. So- here are some suggestions that can help you make that happen:
Buy a little notebook and remember special facts, days and dates. Like the date of the first time you danced with her and the song that was playing.
The date of days when you and she had
a great time, where you went and other details. Send her little notes: “I
was just thinking about the time we . . . (whatever you did) . . .
let’s do that again sometime!”
Text message her. Bring her little gifts. You do not have to spend a fortune.
Write her a poem, or bring her a nice
cutting off of an ivy (Just cut a longer tendril off and place the
cut end in a little bottle or jar of water. Put enough of the vine
in to make it stay in), pick some fresh basil and make her some pesto,
or just tie it up in a ribbon and give it to her.
Dance. (I have a sound system in my kitchen. Sometimes we get a bottle of wine and take turns building playlists of our favorite songs and dance all night.)
Play games together. Like Scrabble, or
cards or dominos. Or video games! (my girlfriend and I get in bed with
our laptops and play Scrabble on line).
Kiss her, hug her and hold her for no reason. Slip up behind her at the kitchen sink and put your arms around her and hug her. Tell her that you love her.
Tell her every time you catch yourself appreciating her looks. Like the way her hair shines in the sun, or the way she looks so hot when she pitches a softball, or how great she looks in her new sunshades. When you see it, and think it, try to remember to say it.
Let her vent and don’t try to fix it (or her). If she’s angry- let her 'blow off steam'. If she’s crying- let her cry. Be a good friend. Keep your own mouth shut, listen and nod.
Being creative with surprises makes it
fun. Print out a picture of the two of you together and frame it.
Find out what she likes and give it to her. It might be baseball games. Doing laundry. Cooking for her. Watching foreign films with subtitles. Find things that you can both enjoy (even if you have to try a little- I learned to love “True Blood”).
Do projects together.
If you have a high stress job that leaves you feeling less enamored with life at times- have days where you wake up and make a deal with yourself that you are going to be pleasant and in a great mood, no matter what happens.
Can't remember any times that were not sexual times? Maybe it is time to get up and mix a little life with your sex life.
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